Addiction
by KaraMeL
Summary: A mission on a peaceful planet leads to a deadly addiction. Spoilers for "Need."


Addiction

  


It was a beautiful day on the other side of the event horizon that had just deposited the half-frozen figurines on the stone dais in front of it. The four figures struggled to their feet, their eyes wearily scanning for a trace of life. They were all dressed in dark green clothing; they were armed and seemed dangerous. But they didn't feel dangerous. It was a sense which had become a familiarity with his people, the absolution of all thought, to monitor all feeling, yet, these figures, these creatures had no place by or on their land. In the corner of his mind a still image of these creatures formed and with a breath he directed the image to his people. It floated away; it's tails silently flapping in the light gust of wind his mind had created. He blinked. It still amazed him. He had never always had this power, the law-abiding rush of tendencies which seemed to throw gifts at his feet as if they were as plentiful as the morning sun's rays. But, despite the feeling, and barely concealed want that raged in the shell that was his body, he decided to ignore the want and follow the creatures that would surly entertain his supple mind. His eyes lingered on they, he caressed them with his eyes, seeing their placid feature twist and turn with the many expressions that emanated from him. Passion, fear. Spirit, Love, Need. He stopped he tried to find the person who had shown that emotion. But as he searched he himself felt the passion and need. His wants needed to be fed, his hurts comforted. He took another lingering glance then slipped silently into the forest. 

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Jack smiled and gave the surrounding forest an appreciative glance. "Looks peaceful enough," he commented. Daniel looked up briefly from his study of the intricate carvings that covered the surrounding rocks.   
"How many times have you said that, and we ended up being either captured, tortured, on the rare occasion praised or killed, only to be brought back again. Jack shot a look at the younger man.   
"Ha, Ha, Ha." He replied. The moment of playful bantering was interrupted by the insistent calling of O'Neill's second in command, Sam Carter.   
"Daniel! Sir! Look what I've found. She was pointing to something on the ground. Daniel raised an eyebrow, as did Teal'c and they went over. Jack continued to survey the landscape until he decided it was safe and then he joined the rest of his entourage.   
"It's a mushroom Carter."   
"I know that." Sam replied, her hand reaching to touch the iridescent petals that glowed as if they were lit from within. The entire mushroom was a purple-blue-black, It had shimmering petals which were laid one on top of another. As Carter's hand wavered over the plant it's petals moved up as if it could kiss her hand. Sam moved her hand around, its petal's followed her and a delighted smile crossed he lips. Taking it by the stem it gave way and rolled on to her hand. Teal'c watched in a morbid fascination as she put it in a jar, capped it and replaced the jar in the many pocketed backpack that was an SGC standard issue. Jack was still watching as she stood. Daniel had left again, jumping from stone to stone trying to find some sort of sign about the mushroom plant that had fascinated them so much. On one stone he had found a carving of the mushroom -- minus the colors and the flamboyant manor it seemed to radiate.   
"Here it is!" He exclaimed to nobody in particular. Sam stood up and went to him. He was muttering under his breath and tracing the lines of alien writing. Finally she nudged him.   
"What does it say?" She asked, a trace of impatience lining her voice.   
"Nothing. It says it's an important part of their horticulture."   
"Hory-what?" Jack asked, squinting at another stone near the gate.   
"Horticulture."   
"Oh." Jack said, his mind averted slightly from Daniel and Sam who were still trying to decipher the writing. Instead, he looked towards a beaten path which winded through the leafy forest by the Stargate's general location. He shot a bored glance towards Daniel and Carter. He turned to Teal'c.   
"Keep an eye on them Teal'c. If they try to leave do whatever you have to to make them stay put. Tie them to a tree for all I care." Sam shot him a glance, but took his snidness for granted. Daniel continued to decipher the writing. As he left he could still hear Daniel exclaim.   
"It's a part of their integral culture too!" He wondered sometimes about that man. 

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"Finally," he said to himself as the underbrush ended and he came to his clan's village. It was noon. Soon after he had left for his village he had began to feel the effects of the need. He wanted, but he couldn't have. It was the deep knawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him go faster, and faster still. He had never known where the village elders got their supply. It was rare to usually see a whole cantage, the village elders only gave out portions every day to satisfy the hunger. But tonight would be different. It was the cantage festival. They would celebrate life today. There would be plenty of cantage to go around. His mouth watered. His people had no real need for food, the cantage gave them strength, agility, nutrition and controlled feeling. There was no need for law or justice. If everybody was satisfied they were fine. In addition to the power rush the plant gave, it was always in abundance. Once his mate had tried to give it up, but she had failed. Bouts of angerness, nausea, sickness and madness had followed. He smiled. There she was. She had already felt his need. She awaited with the can that bore the precious contents of life. He brought out a shimmering leaf of the plant, his mouth watering. He broke the delicate leaf in half and swallowed it. The fine taste of citrus fruits slid down his throat, at the end a slight bitterness followed. He smiled again. Content. His wife smiled and replaced the jar on a shelf. It was fine now. He was fine. He wrapped his arms around his wife and hugged her. Silently they retreated. But unnoticed to them the jar that they had carefully placed on the shelf glowed ominously, then it faded. 

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Jack had come back and was now listening with barely contained impatience to Daniel who kept talking and talking. Drowning on about the mushroom.   
"So, as I was saying, the village or whatever is centered around this plant it's amazing. Kinda reminds me about the goa'uld." His eyes flashed with a sudden sadness and then he straightened. "Well, let's try and find these people. It will be interesting to find out a little more about them!" Jack rolled his eyes and got up from his perch near the rocks. He had returned after no success in finding where the trail led. He had followed it for a while but then decided to return, in fear of Daniel's lack of sense, Carter's curiosity and Teal'c inability to 'baby-sit'. He decided to go back, this time with the rest of his team. He started to walk in the direction of the path and noticed nobody was following. Turing on the balls of his feet his turned and yelled back at Daniel Carter and Teal'c,   
"Could we get moving?" Daniel looked up, and shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose.   
"Don't worry. We're coming!" He called back. Jack did worry though, and no matter what Daniel said he would never believe the young man when he said, "don't worry". He started walking again, satisfied to see the rest of his team following him back into the forest. 

It was nearly 1300 hours by the time they reached the outskirts of a small town. It seemed the inhabitants were getting ready for a celebration of sorts. boughs of what looked like cedar branches were bound together with a yarn like substance. these bundles were tied on ever 'lamppost' by doorways. A large firepit in the center of the town was crowded with alien like humanoids. They worked in perfect harmony, not a sliver of disorganization present. They brought tables and surrounded the fire pit in a rough circle. Strange flowers that were cupped were placed at every setting at the table. On closer inspection Jack realized they were cups. He realized their appearance had still not been noted and he stood in dumbfounded amazement as the natives finally stopped their fluent, almost dance like moves and recognize that there were aliens (to them) in their village. They didn't seem surprised. A man stepped forward. He looked similar to all the other humanoids until Jack glimpsed a long scar that seemed to run from his left forehead to the middle of his left cheek. The humanoid aliens did not differ much to the humans that they now seemed to be observing in a strange silence. They had defined foreheads, but a delicate slender shape. Their skin, like humans, was pink, with a slight blue tinge. Besides the reptilian scales that seemed to flow down one side of their heads they were completely human. The man to a long glance at them, he scrutinized carefully, as if to remember the teams features. Then he spoke.   
"Hello." Daniel blinked.   
"Uh, hi!" He said, his voice trailing with a slight tinge of nervousness.   
"Who are you?" The scarred alien asked, him not volunteering any information about himself.   
"I'm Daniel Jackson," Daniel started, he pointed to the rest of the team, "and this in Jack, Sam and Teal'c." He ended with an enthusiastic gesture towards Teal'c.   
"I am called Relk." The alien said in the monotone voice that Jack found slightly annoying. "I suppose you have come from the forbidden circle." Daniel pondered the question.   
"The Stargate?" He asked, mimicking a circle with his arms.   
"Star-ga-te." The alien tested out the new word, clearly unable to pronounce the words without a slight accent. He pointed to Teal'c. "What is He?"   
"Jaffa." Teal'c supplemented. Some of the villages stared at him with curiosity.   
"What is a 'Jaffa'," one villager asked. Jack tried to find out who asked the question, but already the voice had faded.   
"Bred to serve Apophis." Teal'c once again intoned.   
"Who is A-pop-his?" The man who had first greeted them asked.   
"Well," Jack started, "A pop is a sound, like with bubble gum, I assume you know what that is, and a his is a pleural form of him." The aliens looked confused. Daniel glared at him and shoved an elbow into his ribs.   
"Ow!" Jack said loudly.   
"Actually, Apophis is our enemy. He is goa'uld."   
"We do not understand." Daniel bit the bottom of his lip thoughtfully. This was not entirely unexpected this was a world that was not on the Abydos destination wall, it was one extrapolated when Jack had set up the program to find the Asgard homeworld when his mind had been given the knowledge of the Ancients. Instead of trying to explain he turned back to the alien.   
"Are you having some sort of celebration," he countered, gesturing vaguely to the decoration and tables set up for a feast. The alien's eyes seemed to brighten.   
"Yes, Yes of course. It is the celebration of the _cantage_." Daniel turned to the others.   
"Rough translation, plant of all life." Jack nudged him.   
"Ask him to show us one. Maybe we can feed it to Maybourne." Daniel had to stifle a laugh.   
"You may join us if you like." Daniel sobered and he smiled.   
"Sure, we'd love to." He missed although, the look that Jack gave him. 

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The evening was filled with dancing, wine and a beautiful starry sky. Jack spent most of his time watching as he recognized the constellations. He listened with one ears as Daniel and Carter talked with the alien man Relk. No other alien was willing to introduce themselves to them. When the feast was an hour old drums started a beat, Jack sensed something was going to happen. Causally he put his hand by his sidearm, in fear of a trick. He relaxed slightly as he realized that three older men approached. As they seated themselves the gathered aliens cheered. In their hands the three aliens held an earthen pot. four women came from out of nowhere, scantily clad and holding what looked like glass. They were actually bowls. They went to the three aliens and bowed, holding their bowls up. The three men sprinkled something into their bowls and sent them off. Jack watched as they past, the night sky forgotten. The four women distributed whatever they had and finally rounded the table to where Sg1 was seated. At a closer inspection Carter told them,   
"It's that mushroom thing sir." She was talking to all of them but made it seem like she was only talking to the Colonel. The woman offered Sam some, but she declined.   
"I hate mushrooms." she said, hiding her expression of disgust. A woman offered Jack some.   
"Ditto." He said, gesturing a no. Teal'c looked at the plate and shook his head slightly, his impassive features never changing. Finally the woman got to Daniel. He peered over his glasses, slightly disgusted but aware of all the faces that were directed in his way.   
"Well," he said. "They may take it as an insult." He took a leaf or petal and cautiously sniffed it, aculatly aware of the silence. He brought it to his mouth and swallowed it. Jack watched his reaction.   
"Hey, this is good!" The three elders at the head of the table laughed. Daniel took another two petals and the conversation restarted. As fast as the four maidens had appeared they had disappeared, leaving Jack slightly disappointed.   
At least, he comforted himself, I still have Carter. Taking the cue from a group of male and female aliens, he stood and offered his hand to Carter.   
"Care for a dance Captian," he brooked with a voice that offered no argument. Sam looked at the group of aliens that had begun to do a salsa like dance.   
"Sure, why not." Daniel looked hurt.   
"What about me?" Jack looked at him.   
"You can have Teal'c." Sam laughed.   
"Thanks for the offer Jack." Teal'c raised an eyebrow.   
Sam and Jack laughed and went to the floor where they at least tried to mimic the alien's rapid and water-like movements. Soon after they gave up and did a version of 'The Twist.' Many of the aliens picked it up, and they had a great time, until the first signs of morning appeared over the horizon. 

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The Stargate whooshed open; particles of matter shot out then formed a still horizon like water on a windless day. Yesterday's events had made them tired and they were due back any ways. Out of all of them Daniel was still the liveliest. He had danced most of the night with Carter, and had even tried to teach Teal'c how to Dance. It had been amusing to see Teal'c try, but at the end he turned out to be a very competent dancer. The natives had said their good-byes, saying that they hoped to see them again. Jack doubted it severely. Daniel stepped up to the wormhole and went through, throwing a fleeting glance at the rest of them. Teal'c went through next and Jack bowed and waved Carter through. She shot him an annoyed glance and jumped in. Jack took one look around and followed.   
The whirl of colors and star systems that flashed by and then they reached the event horizon. Jack stumbled slightly then caught himself, finding himself face to face with General Hammond. The round general, glad that for once Sg1 was in one piece, saluted, getting the gesture back from Jack and Carter then told them to hit the showers and meet him at 0900 in the debriefing room. 

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After gathering up his books, papers and keys, Daniel locked up his office and left the Mt. Cheyenne facility. He juggled his books and then piled them into the back of his car. It was late. Daniel was still high, he hadn't run out of energy yet but he decided it would be a good idea to go home and study for the next mission. He had found himself unconsciously chomping on a leftover leaf of the plant of life the leaders had given him. It was almost like eating Candy. Daniel had been high the entire day, and he wondered what was in that plant. Sam had two, and she had given the sample she had taken to Dr. Green. He promised he would have the results by next morning. Daniel felt strange, although he wasn't hungry, he had eaten nothing all day, which wasn't strange for him, but usually by this time his stomach would be growling non-stop. considering, then only thing he had was the leaf of that mushroom thing, and that was this morning. Daniel shrugged his thoughts and gunned his engine. He had work to do. 

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_3:00am_

It was dark, but still he could see the outline of his dresser from across his bed. Daniel didn't know how long he had been lying there. Maybe an hour, maybe more. He didn't know what woke him up either. At first he thought he was hungry, but he had had something, well actually a lot of things, but that still didn't help. He still felt a deep knawing hungry, like he was consuming to little. Daniel was suddenly very aware of a little voice in the back of his head, jeering him, angering him, whispering lies. He had had this sensation before, but when? His mind seemed an endless turmoil that swirled in a circling spiral, multitudes of colors circled too. He got up. He knew what he wanted. Gathering his clothes he got dressed. 

_Mt. Cheyenne Facility_

By the time Daniel had gotten to the top-secret facility he had begun to sweat. His hands gripped the wheels as if they were about to fall off. Every part of his body was a different pain, like the last few days were catching up on his. Was it the goa'uld attack? no, no, it was dancing. His mind fought to organize this mess in his mind, but instead it focused on one thing. The cantage.   
"Alright Mr. Jackson, you are cleared to pass. Is everything alright?" Daniel took a moment to glance up at the airman who was guarding the first checkpoint.   
"Yeah, sure, why wouldn't everything be alright." He knew that his voice bellied him once more. He took his ID and headed for the second checkpoint. He hoped that the airman would not notify the base. He tried to calm himself, to make sure that he would not alert the attention of the second guard. He approached the post and once again gave his ID.   
"Why are you here this late Mr. Jackson, any specific reason?" Daniel thought for a minute.   
"I need to catch up on some work, I'll probably be down there the entire night." Daniel closed his eyes for a brief moment, hoping to hide his desperation. The airman nodded, tossed him his ID. Daniel let out a sigh of relief and pocketed his ID. He was safe, for now. Parking his car and looking at the dark cloudy sky above he wondered what was happening to him. 

Inside the confines of his office he was safe, there was nobody out there that could hurt him, he was in his sanctuary. Inside of the shell he called a body, the need pounded through his like a knife stabbing his over and over in the stomach. Daniel grabbed his stomach, his head reeling. Sinking to his knees, he formulated a plan to get the cantage. Catching his breath he went to his bathroom. Looking into the mirror he saw himself. He was sheet white, his eyes sunken and his cheeks hallow. With a barely contained screech of horror he smashed the mirror. It shattered, raining down on his hands. He felt the pain, but choose to ignore it. He watched in fascination as the water in the sink started to mix red. Raising his hand he watched with a silent interest as the skin folded upon itself, leaving barely visible scaring. This was the plant's doing, the plant of life. It could heal him, it could help him, all he needed was it to survive. Cupping his hand, he took some water into it and splashed it upon his face. Looking at a shard of his mirror that he had destroyed, he convince himself he looked at least half-human. Looking down once more into his sink filled with pieces of glass, he saw his reflection ten fold. But as long as he tried to convince himself, it wouldn't work. Something was defiantly wrong with him. 

Creeping down the darkened hallway he stayed in the shadows, his heart leaping into his throat every time he heard a person pass. Then there was a familiar voice.   
"See you tomorrow, whoops! I mean today!" Another person laughed.   
"See you Colonel." It was Jack. Backing even further into the shadows he watched darkly as he walked. Why wouldn't his mouth work and call out? he asked himself. He watched as the man finally past him.   
"I wonder if Daniel's here?" Jack asked, for some strange reason Daniel asked himself the exact same question. Jack moved around the corner, and with a panicked thought he realized that he had neglected to either shut off his lights or lock the door. Jack would know something was wrong now. Daniel instead hurried down the hallway towards the labs, confident that they would still be open. He saw very few people after that. Another airman, Janet, another doctor. He wondered how many people did stay up at this hour. He was surprised to see Janet here, having Cassie and all. Finally, he was at the labs. Daniel took a deep breath, silently hoping that the door would be open. It was. Opening slightly he saw Dr. Green over a microscope.   
"Fascinating," he heard the man say. Daniel wondered if he was talking about the plant of life. Once again he wrote something in a book. Daniel crept foreword, unnoticed be the lone scientist. Daniel stood directly behind the man. He tried to read the writing, but his mind only picked it up as gibberish. Daniel blinked, he took a large book of the table next to him, and raised it. At the last moment Dr. Green looked back, his eyes registering he was in danger. He saw the book descend and he knew he had to do one thing. He slammed his hand on the panic button. Daniel clubbed the man down, the alarms blaring as if he were being attacked. Daniel sank to his knees, his mind screeching in pain, his vision dipped, and he found himself looking at a merciless ocean, it's dark waters forbidding and deadly. Grabbing a sample of the plant he retreated to a dark corner behind a desk. The loud alarms faded into a muted bang against his temple as his thoughts, feelings and basically he faded into a darkness of despair. He hugged himself tightly until he heard the many footsteps of soldiers and personnel alike. They recovered the doctors waking body and took him to the infirmary. He heard somebody yelling orders, until only two people he could distinguish were left. It was Sam and Jack.   
"Okay, let's figure who did this Sam," said Jack, his voice serious, but the wording seemed garbled, peaked. It annoyed him.   
"Who could have done it sir? What could they want?"   
"Maybe it's not a they Captian." He heard Jack say. A simotanious 'what' seemed to scream in his mind as well as Sam's out burst.   
"What?" She echoed. Jack thrust something into her hands. It was Daniel's glasses.   
"Daniel's glasses?" She asked, more of a statement then a question.   
"Yeah, now why do I have a feeling it has something to do with that plant thing, the catanoe."   
"It's _cantage_." Sam corrected him. He heard Jack move.   
"What are you doing sir?" Sam wondered out loud. Jack put his finger to his lips. She took the hint. Daniel could hear Jack search around. Sam made a frustrated sound.   
"Shush Captian." Jack said, not any more teasing then normal. He circled the desk which Daniel was hiding behind.   
"Daniel?" Now that was defiantly a question. Daniel found himself completely unable to move, like all his muscles had forgotten how to function. He couldn't even gather enough strength to force his eyes to look up at Jack's. He felt a hand tap him on the cheek, gentle at first, then more insistent.   
"It must be the plant sir." Sam's voice came from near the desk where Dr. Green had been. "It says it has addictive properties. He advises all people who had contact, or eaten it to report to the infirmary. I guess he was about to call Janet and tell her." Jack was still trying to get a response out of Daniel, but the younger man just sat there, his eyes open but unaware. Jack gave up. He took Daniel and picked him up as if he was a small child. Daniel just laid there.   
"Wow, he's gotten a bit lighter from the last time I remember." Sam shot him a look, then turned her attention back to the book.   
"We'd better get him to the infirmary." Jack nodded. At he moved, Daniel's hand fell, it's contents which were so carefully clutched opened, and the leaf or petal of the plant fell, falling listlessly to the ground. Sam picked it up.   
"Well, there's you're answer." Jack intoned. Sam placed the leaf in the spiral notebook and motioned for Jack to come. As they walked down the nearly deserted hallway they noticed they received strange looks from some passerby's. Jack grinned back, and they usually looked away. He thought that they should have been used to the entire idea of Daniel being unconscious or unresponsive in this case. Finally they reached the infirmary. They found it nearly empty. Dr. Fraiser was by a bed in the far corner taking care of the now sleeping Dr. Green. Jack decided to spare the politeness.   
"Janet," Jack started, "We have a problem." He tried not to make it sarcastic. He really did. Janet turned and her mouth circled into an 'O' shape.   
"Put him on the gunnery," She ordered. She called to get some test done. Then she turned back to Jack.   
"What happened?" She took out her penlight and shined it into Daniel's eyes, seeing that there was very little response she took on a worried look. She took a bottle of something off the shelves and stuck a needle into it.   
"Well, there was that alert, and we found out it was Daniel who caused it." Janet shot him a look.   
"Why would he do that."   
"He's addicted to the plant we brought back." Sam started. Jack finished the sentence.   
"He's gone haywire. Our space monkey needs serious help." Although the words were meant to be a joke, Janet could see the worried look in the Colonel's eyes as he took in his friend's pale and ashen look and spaced out appearance. Soon the was a flurry of nurses around the area. Jack stepped back and watched his friend go paler. Janet was already preparing an IV.   
"When did he eat last?" she inquired. Jack shrugged: I'm not his babysitter, his expression said.   
Janet inserted the needle into a vein. Jack had never seen anything or at least remotely like what happened after. Daniel seemed to snap out of whatever had created that passive facade, and well, the best word to describe what Jack saw was that the man had totally snapped. The first thing Daniel did was sit up. Jack, surprised, jumped backwards as did Sam. Daniel tore out his IV, causing a multitude of blood to spill from the area. He seemed unaware of it all as he jumped out of the bed and backed away. By this time Janet had filled another syringe. This time with some sort of a knockout concision. Jack flanked her as she moved towards Daniel. Jack noticed the trail of blood, Daniel was unaware of leaving behind, as his half crazed eyes searched the room for some sort of escapee. Janet put out one hand in a calming gesture. Then Daniel attacked. He rushed foreword, almost knocking down Janet and plowing straight into Jack. They went down in a tangle of limbs. Janet recovered and approached the two men. She was unsure who was who. Suddenly the mad fight stopped, and Jack was on top of Daniel, holding his head in a position that made all other movement impossible. Daniel still tried. Janet approached cautiously and injected the contents of the needle into the subdued Daniel. She sighed as finally his drugged eyes fell shut and he drifted into a waking sleep. She motioned for Jack to put Daniel on a gunnery and told a nearby nurse to get restraints. Breathing hard Jack turned to Janet.   
"Are you all right?" He asked. Janet nodded.   
"I think so." She turned back to Jack. "I want you to go to Hammond and tell him you need to go to that planet again. Find out anything you possibly can about the drug." Jack nodded. He watched as his friend was tied down, and the straps pulled tight. He winced. Patting his unconscious friend's shoulder he vowed to drag anybody that knew anything about the drug or mushroom or whatever back. Exiting he shut his eyes unwilling to remember too. 

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The wormhole reopened with a wave of unstable flux, its shimmering pool folding into space after it's seemingly violent start. Through the wormhole came three figures, all downcast. They had found nothing, and General Hammond could clearly see that. It had been a day since they had departed, leaving their friend behind to try and find the answer to his rapidly growing addiction. This had happened. Why was it necessary to happen again? Hammond asked himself this question as he slowly descended the ladder that would take him to Sg1. 

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The infirmary was a bad memory that was a constant. It never seemed to go, its leering face, laughing in front of Jack's. Finally, after much deliberation with himself he had come. He was unwilling to breath through his nose any longer. He wasn't ready to be reminded of things he did not want to be reminded of. Charlie. Daniel. Death. The door seemed almost large, well, it was always large, but high wise it stretched like Jack's beanstalk. Jack had to smile at that one. Taking a deep breath he opened the door, unwilling to face what was inside. It wasn't as bad as he though it would be, the familiar smell washed over him, but it didn't cause unpleasant memories. Sighting Dr. Fraiser he waved and walked over, noticing Daniel's absence from the main infirmary.   
"Hey," he said, trying to mask his true concern. "Where's...." The Doctor stopped him and pointed to a room. Jack, perturbed that the Doctor didn't answer, left her. He walked to the room, hearing the familiar sounds of lifesaving machines, thankfully dormant for the time being. The time being. Why had he said that? Why was he giving up on his friend already? Instead of answering he stepped through the doorway.   
"Oh, geez, Daniel." Jack started as he saw his friend. Daniel was engulfed in all types of tubes, wires and machines. His dormant friend didn't answer. He was chalk white underneath all the machines, he seemed to be awake, but Jack suspected he was heavily drugged. Taking a seat on the notoriously hard plastic infirmary chair, he took a look at his friend up close. He noticed now that Daniel was tied down, and that his IV was taped securely onto his arm. Jack leaned back, his face a mask of sorrow. What had he done? Why didn't he realize there was a danger? Awkwardly taking Daniel's heavily bandaged arm - from yesterday's episode - Jack tried to give his friend at least some support. 

Outside the room Janet Fraiser watched in silence. 

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Jack dozed. Three uneventful hours had passed. Suddenly under his hand Daniel started to thrash. It was the first thing that counted for movement that he had seen. Jack tried vainly to hold his convulsing friend down. It didn't work.   
"Janet!" He yelled. A few painstaking seconds later she ran into the room, already holding a filled syringe with morphine. If the thrashing wasn't bad enough, Daniel started to yell. Well, scream was a more appropriate analogy.   
"Sha're, Sha're!?!" He called, he kept twisting and turning, making sure that Janet and Jack couldn't hold him down. Tears were now streaming down his face, and his breath was hitching in the back of his throat. Jack tried to keep his mind focused on the present, and hold Daniel still. Daniel opened his eyes blindly. They were darting around as if he was entirely frightened. Jack grabbed his head, and slowly Daniel's eyes focused on the man above him. He did not stop kicking and moving. Suddenly he stopped. Jack stared at him, using his eyes to calm him.   
"Ja'k?" The distressed man said. "Ja'k?" His voice started to rise in volume as he realized finally that he was tied down.   
"Let me go! Let me go." He stared to scream again. Dr. Fraiser had taken the opportunity of momentary calm to give him the morphine. Slowly Daniel quieted, and finally dropped into an uneasy sleep, his eyes half closed and glazed. Jack finally let go of Daniel's chin. Daniel's head dropped back onto the pillows. Jack stepped back to survey the damage, that even the tied man had done. The IV pole was down, as was Jack's uncomfortable chair. But that was Jack's fault. Janet wiped the bangs off her forehead. She looked at Jack in the eyes, not giving him any clues, answers or explanations. Jack disliked guessing. He followed the Doctor out.   
"Doc, honest opinion." He said it bluntly. There was no need to ask the question. He knew the answer.   
"Honest?" She asked.   
"Honest."   
"Not good." She bit the bottom of her lip. "Unless we can get anything into his body, meaning food, he's not going to make it. The plant, or whatever he's addicted to feeds on vital nutrients of the body when not used for a long period of time. As far as I know his complete physical structure was in some type of change when we took the plant away. It seems to be drawing away all food stores. Colonel, it's eating him inside out?" She raised he voice. When they both dropped into a silent thought, Jack decided to speak, seeing that the Doctor was in inner turmoil.   
"Can I try?" Janet looked up, surprised.   
"What?"   
"I said I'll try."   
"What's there to try? I've tried to force feed him, IV tube him, even give him pills!" She was slightly red-faced; knowing this wasn't helping Daniel.   
"I said let me try." Janet smiled. Weakly.   
"Go ahead, tell me what you need." Jack wondered for a fleeting moment if he was crazy. The last time he had fed anybody was when Charlie was a baby. Old habits do die hard thought, he thought. But this was wishful thinking. Although he doubted what little he could do he did remember Daniel's expression when he had held his jaw. It was panic, desperation, maybe, just maybe a little hope. Turning to Janet he started, hoping himself he would have the strength to do this.   
"Okay, he's what I need...." 

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Jack shut the door of the specially refitted room. He had all what he needed. Food, or what he hoped Daniel could eat, morphine, incase Daniel decided to do something to 'endanger' his life, along with instruction on how to use the drug. The room was large, padded and brightly lit. Only two doors were in the room, one for a little kitchenette, another for a bathroom. Jack figured he wouldn't be leaving this room for awhile. Across from him lay Daniel. He was still unconscious, the machines were gone, and now Jack could fully see the ravages the plant had wrecked on the young man. Daniel's face was body and the medical 'uniform' hung like a death shroud on the normally muscular archeologist. Bruises also covered him. His face was slightly colored, the result of his ordeal, and his ankles and wrists were black and blue, his struggles that were in vain. Just then, Jack who had been sitting, observing his silent friend noticed movement. This was when truth came to life, would, or would he not be able to help his friend. Standing from the armchair of sorts he had been sitting in he carefully approached. Daniel's eyes were open; their once healthy blue-black insides dull with need, want and desire. Jack could hear his friend's breathing from where he stood. Daniel seemed to breathe as if he was drowning. Jack closed is eyes in his own private despair. That was all Daniel needed. With a snap into reality, Jack found himself on the floor, a very mad-driven Daniel on top of him. Oddly, Daniel's eyes were unfocused and he seemed to be looking past Jack, like a disguise that he may donned on. Jack wanted to be calm, but he had first hand knowledge of what his driven friend was capable of.   
"Where is my wife?" Daniel spit out. Jack could feel Daniel's hot rage. It burned within him like the fever that ravaged the outside of his body.   
"What do you mean?" Jack tried to his best to remain unaware of what Daniel was saying.   
"Apophis, you killed my friends, you enslaved my wife in her body by giving her a goa'uld. Do you feign ignorance now?"   
"Daniel. I'm not Apophis. I'm Jack."   
"Jack's dead."   
"I'm not." The genuine iron will in his voice was shocking, even to him.   
"Jack's dead." Daniel now sounded drunk, he wanted to believe Jack but he couldn't.   
"I'm not dead." Daniel moved, He backed away quickly, moving faster then Jack could get up. Jack did, eventually get up. He found Daniel in a corner. He had his hands wrapped around his knees and was rocking back and forth. Jack could see his lips moving but he couldn't heart him. Scooting over, beside the distressed man he heard the words: "I'm not dead, nor is Jack, I'm not dead, nor is Jack." Jack patted his friend awkwardly on the shoulder, slightly concerned at the tremors going through his friend's body. Taking the blanket from the bed he wrapped it around his friend, hoping that he would snap out of his delusions. He needed food. Jack got up and went to the kitchen. He searched the fridge for anything that his friend may like. Shrugging, he grabbed a chocolate bar. He walked back into the room where he found Daniel still shivering on the floor. Jack unwrapped a part of the bar and waved it in front of Daniel's face.   
"Come on Danny-boy. It's chocolate!" Daniel didn't move.   
"Don't you like chocolate any more?" Jack scooted closer until he was about a meter away from his friend. He waved his hand in front of Daniel's field of view.   
"Yoo-hoo! Danny-boy? Anybody there?" Daniel didn't move. Jack closed his eyes. Standing, he put the bar down and got to his feet. Bending over, he grabbed Daniel's body like a sack of potatoes and put him back on the bed, covering him in his blanket. Sighing, checking Daniel's forehead for a fever, he frowned slightly. Deciding he took the abandoned Candy bar and went into the small room that served as a kitchen. He replaced the now open bar into the fridge. Shutting off the overhead lights he shut the door tightly. The way he was going he'd never be able to feed Daniel. Looking at his watch he was surprised to see it was 2300 hours. Roughly 11:00 o'clock. Noticing that he himself also required sleep he his the light switched one by one, leaving the one by his 'armchair' on. In the weak light he could still make out Daniel's still form. 

He was awaken about three hours later. He heard sobbing nearby. Jack's ears perked, but he didn't move. Then he located the source of the distressed sounds. It was Daniel. Getting up slowly he approached the bed with little noise, hoping to see what had troubled Daniel. When he got close, he realized that Daniel was curled up on the bed, still sobbing. Jack sat down carefully on the bed, trying not to set Daniel off. Tentivly he reached over and touched Daniel's shoulder, turning the younger man over. In the weak light of the lamp Jack could see Daniel protectively holding his stomach, his eyes shut tight, and tears leaking from the sides of his eyes.   
"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" He already knew.   
"Ja'k?" His speech was impaired once again, like a drunk's. "I don't fel so god." Although his words were muddled Jack had learned to understand after Daniel's drugged attempts at conversation in the infirmary. Jack had learned from the inhabitants of the 'drug' world (as he now called it) that it was impossible to stop 'taking' the drug. Some of the natives had shared their experiences. All of them showed the signs of nausea, depression, hallucinations, madness an/or starving. Jack looked at his frail friend beneath his concerned look and realized they had a long time coming.   
"Okay Danny-boy, tell me what's wrong?"   
"Naus'ous" He said.   
"How can you be nauseous if you haven't had anything to eat?"   
"Sick.."   
"Yeah, I know." Jack closed his eyes. Feeling his friend's forehead, he noticed the warmth and went into the bathroom to get a cold cloth. He refused to tell himself that this wasn't going to do anything for Daniel, and that he was just going to kill him if he kept him here any longer. Jack exited the bathroom, and was almost bowled over when Daniel rushed past him. Gathering his senses Jack listened, and heard the tortured sounds. Jack listened and he wondered if they were ever going to survive this. 

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_Three days later..._

Another day in the windowless, airless, heatless room that he had begun to call home. It was, as all days no different from the others. Daniel was still no better, he still flatly refused to eat and to top it off he was constantly sick. Jack was scared the last time Daniel had been sick, he had coughed up some blood, and Jack realized this was wrecking havoc on Daniel's system. Jack was opted to begin to force feed Daniel. It broke his heart to see the man he once knew as a healthy man to not even have the strength to pull himself away from Jack's weak grip. Jack wouldn't let him go. Jack had made some sort of a milkshake, including chocolate (he thought Daniel might have wanted that) strawberries, bananas, and Homo milk. It tasted vile but it had the essential nutrients that Daniel needed to survive. Jack held Daniel and he put the liquid down his throat. Daniel coughed and choked but he swallowed, seeing no alternative but breathing, or dying. Daniel's eyes widened as the bile made it's way through his throat. Jack grabbed Daniel's mouth and held it shut. Daniel's eyes were closed, but Jack could feel the tears pooling on the side of his clapped palm. Daniel's head dropped until it was resting on Jack's chest. He was crying silently and refused to sob out loud. Jack also felt like crying. After all of what he had tried he was reduced to this. Finally Daniel's head lolled and Jack realized he had fallen asleep or unconscious. Jack began to rock his friend hoping now that this would be one meal that would stay down. 

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Jack felt like yelling a silent victory. Daniel was making progress. It was a day after he had eaten, or rather drank his first meal. Since then, he had managed to 'eat' a chocolate bar. Well, it really didn't seem like much but it was progress and he hadn't throw anything up. The natives of the world that had brought this on to the SGC had told him the different steps in the giving up of the drug. None of them had succeeded but it would have to be a reality in this case. First it was the desire, then a little bit of depression. Daniel had passed those two. Next it was hallucinations, then nausea, then it was madness. That was as far as the natives ever got. Jack was worried. He had got the bed fitted with straps, incase this 'madness' stuck Daniel. Somehow he didn't think it was that far off. 

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Daniel Jackson couldn't feel anything, his mind was numb, but his body seemed to move with a life of it's own. He thrashed, he screamed, he yelled, he tried with all his might to escape the bonds that held him. He was fully aware of the ache in the pit of his stomach, he tried not to think about it, but this was what completely drove his mind and body to the limit. The want.   
"Hey Danny, calm down." Daniel didn't calm down. In fact he started to thrash worse. A face, watery and blurred appeared over him. Daniel tried to get up, to attack his invisible, watery enemy. Instead of backing away the image leaned over further, putting a cooling hand on his forehead. Daniel tried to jerk away, but instead he slumped back, exhausted. The watery image sat down on the bed.   
"Away." Daniel wheezed out. He tried to move. He couldn't. A vise like grip found it's way to his chin and grabbed it.   
"Daniel, Come on Danny-boy, don't you recognize me?" The voice was insistent Daniel forced the hand away, hoping that the torture would be over soon.   
"Go-o Away!" He yelled, trying even harder to break the bonds. He was half expecting for the image to slap him or hit him, or something, but instead it stood.   
"Okay Danny, have it you're way." The image disappeared from view.   
"D-Danny?" The image reappeared. It bent over again.   
"Yeah, don't you remember, that's my name for you." Daniel now recognized the voice. The drug had made him see things were they weren't supposed to be.   
"J-Jack?" He asked, more hopeful then anything.   
"Yeah?" There was a trace of surprise in the blurry man across, or rather above him.   
"I w-want to d-die J-Jack." The man breathed in evenly.   
"Why?"   
"I-it hurts J-Jack."   
"I know Danny." Daniel's eyes shifted, looking at the wall.   
"Where's S-Sha're J-Jack?"   
"Not here."   
"W-Where?"   
"Gone." Daniel's eyes stared to fall. Slowly he was lulled to sleep by the drone of Jack's voice as he tried to reassure Daniel.   
"Don't worry Danny-boy, we'll find her." Daniel fell asleep. 

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_Day 14, Depression_

"Hey Danny, It may seem like I'm talking to myself, but, well, I guess I'm talking to you, so if you hear me, try and understand.   
Do you remember when I told you I had been through this when you went through that Sarcophagus thing, well I had almost the exact experience you had. Except it was with Heroine. Heroine, addictive, deadly and I loved it. I couldn't let it go. Well, it almost cost me my life. I was so into that crap I didn't see that I was turning into a shadow. My grades were dropping, I didn't give a shit, my family became frightened of me, my friends didn't want to hand around an addict, and I turned to stealing as the only way I could get the dope. Life was just one big game for me, it was like Disney land, everything was bright, no poverty or suffering seemed to get to me. I was thrown out of my house you know. I had no one to turn to, no one. You know what I did Danny? I went to the bridge. Hey, I was nuts you know, I had no money, I was cold and there was nothing better on my mind then taking a jump into the river below. I was about to jump you know, but guess what saved me Danny-boy, A man. He was a nice man; He came to the bridge, leaned over, looked at the ice and water below and asked me if I was nuts. I was. That man saved my life, when there was nothing that could have convinced me to live he came up to me - a complete stranger - and he told me why I should live. He took me to a hospital, he told me he'd visit and I promised him that I wouldn't try and kill myself again. He came back. He showed me somebody cared. I went through the program and after withdrawal I said I would never get addicted to anything again. The day I left the man let me off at my house, he told me nothing was worth killing myself. I went back to school, and I went to join the military. One day, when I was in the Iraq prison I met a man. He was the same man who helped me. And you know what Danny, they killed him, they mutilated him in front of our eyes because he was our hope, he was my hope." Jack finished; he could feel the moisture well up in his eyes. He looked up at his friend, remembering how desperate he was to kill himself any end it. Daniel's open eyes blinked and tracks of tears fell silently to the bedclothes beneath him. Jack scrubbed Daniel's hair back.   
"But, I won't let you die Danny. I won't." Daniel stared up at the ceiling as he had been doing for the last four days, completely alert but alive. And that's what counted. It had been too many Days since he had been in this room, trying to help his friend. Fourteen days, two weeks to be exact. Now it was time to leave. Taking the keys from the back pocket of his fatigues he opened the door with a creak. Taking the phone from the hook that was by the door he rang the infirmary.   
"Yeah, this is O'Neill. I think," He looked back into the room where his friend lay, trying to speak, his eyes, dulled with fatigue and starvation moving eraticly. "That it's time to introduce him back into the world." Jack returned to the world and took his friends hand, bony and weak, into his.   
"It's okay to cry Danny-boy. It's over." And they did, in the silence. 

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Sounds of coughing came from the barely lit room.   
"Daniel?" He called out. The coughing stopped, and harsh rasps that was his breath filled the silence.   
"Yeah?" The word seemed strangled. The coughing began again, this time accompanied by a sneeze. The two-week trip to hell had left Daniel's immune system particularly weak, he had developed a bad cold, accompanied by water in his lungs, caused by punoemia. They had put him in isolation until they had finally let him out this morning with the last of the bad cold. Jack couldn't bear to watch as his friend suffered, but Daniel had made a silent promise to survive. And he did. Jack walked into Daniel's cramped and disorganized office.   
"What are you doing out of the infirmary?" He even sounded accusing to himself.   
"The Doc said I could walk around for an hour or so." The ravages of the addiction had still not been hidden. Under the standard uniforms of the SGC Daniel still looked impossibly frail. Janet had told him that it would take another week or so of physical to get him back up to par. Jack hoped so.   
"Even so, you're still sick. Go back. That's an order." Daniel spared him a glance, then slowly got up. He grabbed a rather large book off the table and headed for the door. Before he was able to get there fully, he staggered and would've fallen if Jack hadn't been there.   
"Whoa!" Jack said, hoisting his friend to the nearest chair.   
"I'm okay. I'm sorry. I don't feel so good at times."   
"You think?" Jack said, taking to book from Daniel's grasp. "Come on, let's make a date with the doc." Daniel nodded, but before Jack could make a move to help him up, he looked up.   
"Is it true?"   
"What?" Jack knew what he asked but was awaiting confirmation.   
"What you said in that room, about the addiction." Daniel looked up earnestly, his thinner face seemingly thinner with the large glasses perched on his nose. He looked so much like a child Jack was tempted to say no, but he couldn't lie, Daniel had been through what he had been through twice. Why would it be a big deal to let him know he had also suffered? He looked up at the ceiling then back at Daniel.   
"Yeah." He offered no explanation, just a word of truth.   
"Why didn't you tell me?"   
"What was there to know. I suffered like you did. Nothing else." Daniel nodded. He could see where Jack was coming from. He was not always as forthcoming with his life, like Jack, who never told him anything unless he felt he needed to. As Jack stood, Daniel had one more question.   
"Who was the man who saved you?"   
"Bernard West."   
"West?"   
"West, as in General West's son." Daniel grabbed Jack's offered hand. Something's never came easy, but he had always wondered how the General and O'Neill had always been so close. There was the answer, another piece of the puzzle from Jack's life. Daniel chose to say nothing, knowing that Jack needed time, as did he, to heal. 

THE END   
  


KaraMeL   


EMAIL ME

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   [1]: MAILTO:Kristine_sci@hotmail.com



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